I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
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Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize