Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
