i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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