apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize