I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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