but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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