i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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