im gay
i know
yea but for you.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
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I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
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He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
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