You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
