Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
