physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
