You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
