hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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