hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Randomize
