whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
