My nipple is on Facebook.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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