The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
