Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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