I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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