I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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