Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
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making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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