As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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