All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
