direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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