I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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