Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Randomize
