yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
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My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
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They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
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