Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize