This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
