I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
