I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
