I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize