Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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