i just had sex bonerless
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
