Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
