he wants to bone in the snuggie
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
