Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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