so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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