He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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