Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
