it wasn't lemon gatorade
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
