It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
