Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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