do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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