totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
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You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
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It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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