Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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