that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I supernannyed him into submission
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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