I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
