What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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