just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
