I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
