Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
