did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize