we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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