i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize